Newmania: The Sad State

90 Days – but Who’s Counting?

Today marks ninety days of the Great State of Newmania, formerly known as Queensland, but as Queens have been relegated to the state of less tolerable sub-humans, the name had to be changed to best reflect the new state of affairs. The picture is emerging of a new way to live.


Fortunately, Premier Newman is a former army engineer who loves a plan, and he has one. Unfortunately, the mysterious Forces of Darkness who supported his ascent are exercising their power to drive their bizarre Bible Belt agenda. Strangely, this Bible Belt agenda isn’t including anywhere in the Pledge Premier Newman made to The People when he became Ruler.

Here’s the pledge:

In the first 100 days we will begin delivering on the five pledges we made: to grow a four pillar economy, lower the cost of living by cutting waste, deliver better infrastructure and better planning, revitalise frontline services for families and restore accountability in Government.

Even in Newmania, where life should be predictable and conform to the Pledge, politics can get confusing. Things happen in a tediously non-linear way. We could work through the 100 Day Can Do Plan item by item, and tick off those that have been achieved – but that wouldn’t be fair to Mr Newman, who has achieved so many things that aren’t in the plan! Besides. The Courier Mail is keeping track of the 100 Day Plan…or they were. I have asked the Courier Mail for a link to their most current update, but have had no response. Draw your own conclusions.



Still, the Bible Belt agenda isn’t a complete surprise to those of us who’ve been paying attention, but the speed and ruthless way it’s being applied has caught many Newmanians off guard.



Far more interesting is his promise to govern with Dignity, Grace and Humility.
Where is the dignity in banishing your opposition from the building? Where is the grace in ripping rights from your constituents to appease a minority lobby group? Where’s the humility in being to busy and important to attend a Prime Ministerial Summit in your home town? Where’s the dignity in lying to journalists about his plans to amend surrogacy laws? Where’s the grace in his treatment of his own staff?

Premier Newman’s traditional honeymoon period is over, just 90 days into his first term. Even those people who voted for him acknowledged that there would be some tough decisions, but he’s crossed so many lines, he probably feels like he’s dancing on railway tracks. After last night’s inexcusable carry-on in Parliament, in which the changes to Civil Partnerships and Surrogacy legislation were debated, the outpouring of disgust on Twitter was crushing.

Here in the luminous land of Newmania, life is changing faster than we could have predicted 90 days ago. Premier Newman was right to cancel production of number plates that said “The Smart State.” Perhaps he should have changed them to “The Sad State”.